self portrait with bird, Monotype of the Day #755

Day 23 of Year 3

Another self portrait. I'll be exited when this topic plays itself out but for now, I submit to what is given.

I Worried
By Mary Oliver

I worried a lot. Will the garden grow, will the rivers
flow in the right direction, will the earth turn
as it was taught, and if not how shall
I correct it?

Was I right, was I wrong, will I be forgiven,
can I do better?

Will I ever be able to sing, even the sparrows
can do it and I am, well,
hopeless.

Is my eyesight fading or am I just imagining it,
am I going to get rheumatism,
lockjaw, dementia?

Finally I saw that worrying had come to nothing.
And gave it up. And took my old body
and went out into the morning,
and sang.

From Swan: Poems and Prose Poems https://amzn.to/31peMGf 

self portrait listening, Monotype of the Day #754

Day 22 of Year 3

I'm working through something with all these self portraits. Although I'm not sure what right now, I am sure that it is important stick with this process and listen deeply to see what's on the other side. This piece provoked a strong reaction of discomfort, so much so that I have trouble looking at it. It must embody an energy that no longer serves me and needs to be transformed. Making this print was a start in that process, a moment of identification. Now I need to embrace this discomfort and work with it by making more prints. The act of embracing what is given rather than avoiding it has transformative power. I may never understand the content, much of art works outside of the conscious mind, but I do have trust and faith in the importance of the process.

mask & polishing the mirror, Monotype of the Day #753

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Day 21 of Year 3

One of the challenges of making art publicly is staying true to your inner voice. Praise can sometimes be a bit of a siren song. Once an artist knows something sells or gets a good response, there is a natural and unconscious tendency to want to continue to produce work that pleases. I've been pouring over the older images in this project in preparation for my book. In the past, I often worked one theme sometimes for weeks. Today I realized that recently I have been unconsciously limiting that practice because I'm worried people might get bored. Luckily, now that I am aware of this, I can release that behavior. I want to listen completely to my inner creative flow without imposing external control. My time in the studio is always a spiritual training and I find that usually external limits come from a place of fear. So tonight's images feel very risky to me, they are different and I'm not sure if they are good, but I'm putting them out there anyway. This project shows what happens on a nightly basis, the good, the bad and the ugly- it's all a necessary part of the process. xo

Print 1: mask

Print 2: polishing the mirror (ghost of the underlayer of image 1)

looking out, Monotype of the Day #751

Day 20 of Year 3

Always, The Turning
By Dorothy Walters

Yes. I know how it is
to go with uncertain feet,
a burden which grows
heavier
with each step.

I too have felt the silence
fall through the thickening air,
dark currents to carry you
into foreboding channels.

Always, there is the turning,
light descending
into darkness,
the constant reversal
of the poles.

The other face of love.

From A Cloth of Fine Gold https://amzn.to/33jgjjW

self portrait in quarantine, Monotype of the Day #701

Day 331 of Year 2 (Actually Day 336)

"There is a voice that does not use words. Listen!"
-Rumi

Making a self portrait is an important tool for staying centered and present. So many things come up each day to pull our attention away. Self portrait helps me be with what is rather than escaping into distraction. My studio practice is at its heart, an act of listening and I can't listen deeply if I am distracted. Deep listening is a powerfully transformative act.

self portrait with chaos, Monotype of the Day #610

Day 240 of Year 2 (Actually Day 245)

Every few months a self portrait comes up. Sometimes they are a way of learning something new about myself, sometimes they are to relieve feelings. Tonight's piece is the latter. Although I am generally feeling calm, it's hard not to pickup on all the anxiety in the air. It's important to acknowledge and embrace whatever it is we are feeling so it doesn't overpower us. This will pass, this will pass.

Jane Hirshfield just released a stunning new book of poetry called Ledger (https://amzn.to/33nvmXF). I highly recommend it. Tonight's poem, from Ledger, is excerpted from the poem Nine Pebbles. It is a work of deep calm and stillness. It helped me to touch this energy today.

This work is paired with "Retrospective" by Jane Hirshfield

You can find it here: https://briefpoems.wordpress.com/2023/03/06/pebbles-brief-poems-by-jane-hirshfield/

from Ledger https://amzn.to/33nvmXF

just checking in, Monotype of the Day #543

Day 173 of Year 2 (Actually Day 178)

Every once in a while I find it important to do a self portrait just to check in with myself and see how everything is going. This one is more of an energetic portrait than a realistic one. To stay grounded and present is one of the great tasks in life. Self portraits are part of that process for me. What helps you stay grounded?

self portrait with timer, Monotype of the Day #462

Day 96 of Year 2 (Actually Day 97)

To be alive is to have anxiety, angst, pain, all of it. Holding these emotions in will block the creative flow. Uncomfortable, darker feelings must be acknowledged to be released. The artist needs to be fearless in their embrace in order to find the Light. This piece helped me empty my vessel for more creativity to flow in.


Secret Language
by Rumi, Trans. Coleman Barks

Every part of you has a secret language
your hands and your feet
say what you've done
and every need brings in what's needed
pain bears its cure like a child
From the website Poetry Chaikhana https://www.poetry-chaikhana.com/Poets/R/RumiMevlanaJ/SecretLangua/index.html
Transcribed from a CD: Secret Language https://amzn.to/33FhIOr

the artist accepts life, Monotype of the Day #453

Day 87 of Year 2 (Actually Day 88)

This image haunted me all day.

Unison Benediction
by May Sarton

Return to the most human,
nothing less will nourish the torn spirit,
the bewildered heart,
the angry mind:
and from the ultimate duress,
pierced with the breath of anguish,
speak of love.

Return, return to the deep sources,
nothing less will teach the stiff hands a new way to serve,
to carve into our lives the forms of tenderness
and still that ancient necessary pain preserve.

Return to the most human,
nothing less will teach the angry spirit,
the bewildered heart;
the torn mind,
to accept the whole of its duress,
and pierced with anguish...
at last, act for love.

https://www.poetry-chaikhana.com/Poets/S/SartonMay/UnisonBenedi/index.html To get the book: https://amzn.to/35ibOof

the artist is watching, Monotype of the Day #368

Day 3 of Year 2

I definitely felt more in the flow today and working larger, on a full sheet of paper 22x30", is fun. I'm feeling landscapes are still in my future, but returning to self-portrait is always helpful in recentering. So much of art is staying through discomfort: the discomfort of pieces not "turning out", the fights and arguments with misbehaving materials, the emotions that come up in the silence of working. Staying through allows all of this to dissipate and something new to emerge. After a few days of struggle, I'm feeling excited again to see what comes.

Learn the backward step
that turns your light inward
to illuminate your self.
Body and mind of themselves
will drop away,
and your original face will be manifest.
by Dogen

xoxo

the artist is frustrated, Monotype of the Day #353

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The artist (that's me 😊) is frustrated today. So much, but that has to be okay because it's part of life. I'm sitting here and half of me is seething because of all the difficulties I have to deal with just to get into my studio. Sometimes I feel my work is progressing at a snail's pace and I'll need to scream just to release the energy of all the projects still trapped in my head. But, the other half of me is patiently watching because this is just another wave passing through and soon enough things will change.

One happy thing though, I have no idea how I got this effect in the print. It looks much more like a drawing than a print. This will be fun to explore next time I'm feeling out of sorts 😊

Holy Ground
by Ivan M. Granger

Let the vision
of the vastness
you are
leave you
in glorious
ruins.

Pilgrims will come
to imagine
the grand temple
that once stood,
not realizing the wreck made this empty plain holy ground.

Side note: This poet runs the website Poetry Chaikana. It's an amazing resource for sacred poetry. I have his book, but here is the link to the website and poem online: http://www.poetry-chaikhana.com/Poets/G/GrangerIvanM/HolyGround/index.html

self-portrait on the occasion of my birthday, Monotype of the Day #339

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On my birthday, I thought a self-portrait would be appropriate. Birthday's are a good time for self reflection. It's been a tough year filled with challenges and transitions, but I'm pleased to report I'm still here, happily working, and feeling grateful. The obstacles of this year have helped me grow and softened and opened my heart. Difficulties can be an opportunity for growth. My feeling is, if I have to go through it, I might as well use it as a vehicle for internal transformation. I want to make my dark pits into mines for gold. I want to be the hero of my story, not the victim. Of course, this is not always an easy thing to do and it is made immeasurably easier by the support of my friends and family. I've said this before, but would not be here today without all of you. My gratitude knows no bounds. xoxo

Love After Love
by Derek Walcott

The time will come
when, with elation,
you will greet yourself arriving
at your own door,
in your own mirror,
and each will smile at the other's welcome,

and say, sit here. Eat.
You will love again the stranger who was your self.
Give wine. Give bread.
Give back your heart
to itself, to the stranger who has loved you

all your life, whom you ignored
for another, who knows you by heart.
Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,

the photographs, the desperate notes,
peel your own image from the mirror.
Sit. Feast on your life.