surrender, Monotype of the Day #325

325.jpg

It's so easy to judge ourselves as not doing or being enough, but often this is so far out of our control. The circumstances of life offer so many constraints. Sometimes what is called for is showing up and just surrendering to what is. Doing what is possible and then trusting in it's value whether it falls short of our desired outcome or not. This is an important survival skill for someone dealing with long-term illness.

Mozart, for Example
by Mary Oliver, from Thirst

All the quick notes
Mozart didn’t have time to use
before he entered the cloud boat

are falling now from the beaks
of the finches
that have gathered from the joyous summer

into the hard winter
and, like Mozart, they speak of nothing
but light and delight,

though it is true, the heavy blades of the world
are still pounding underneath.
And this is what you can do too, maybe,
if you live simply and with a lyrical heart
in the cumbered neighborhoods or even,
as Mozart sometimes managed to, in a palace,

offering tune after tune after tune,
making some hard-hearted prince
prudent and kind, just by being happy.

the heart (2), Monotype of the Day #324

I’m trying out a new brand of ink and I’m loving it although I don’t quite have the hang of it yet. My old brand is giving my some technical trouble. It’s funny how the resistance to change is so strong even when it’s clear change is a better option.

I’m sure when most people think of artists, they think of us working away in creative bliss. But there is much grunt work in being an artist too. Today I spent the whole day with the help of a studio assistant sorting hundreds of prints into piles by paper type and ink color in preparation for being properly photographed. Since my last attempt at photographing was an utter failure, I had to teach myself about f-stops, iso and how to shoot pictures from my computer with attached camera. I believe I finally have it right. So no attempt at words of wisdom tonight, just gratitude for progress and for the ability to keep showing up. xo

the heart, Monotype of the Day #323

A quick print tonight. I've been working on more complex prints lately and that has to be balanced with gestural prints so the mind and body stay in balance. I had a lot of trouble getting down to work tonight. My day was busy and it was wonderful but there was no emptiness or down time. Emptiness is necessary so there is space for creativity to fill. Eventually I sat down and meditated and opened enough room for this image. It's a good reminder that no time is wasted for an artist. It's easy to judge ourselves for not being more productive, organized, or whatever. But periods that seem lost, boring, difficult or chaotic give internal space for roots to grow and ideas to mature. To bring forth something new, old structures need to be broken down. Doing reinforces structure, being softens it. It's a matter of trusting the process and having faith that the creative flow will carry you where you need to go. Of course where you want to go and where you need to go may not be the same place! But that is the adventure of making art.

Suspended
by Denise Levertov

I had grasped God's garment in the void
but my hand slipped
on the rich silk of it.
The 'everlasting arms' my sister loved to remeber
must have upheld my leaden weight
from falling, even so,
for though I claw at empty air and feel
nothing, no embrace,
I have not plummetted.

xo

the artist is all ears, Monotype of the Day #321

321.jpg

A somewhat similar image to last night. I must be processing some energy through. Sometimes that happens. I have to work the same image over and over as it slowly evolves. Eventually something is revealed and the energy dissipates. We shall see what tomorrow will bring. Another Dorothy Walters poem tonight.

Whoever Went In
by Dorothy Walters

Whoever went in
naked to the core.

Whoever cast aside
all the armor,
all the fastenings.

Who could breathe air thin as flame.

Drink water pressed from blossoms,
rose petals
or violets.

Whoever stayed in that
darkness so dark
it became a circle of seeing.

Who could hear
the silent flute note
of the stilled wind,
hold rock turning to light.

xo

the swim, Monotype of the Day #320

My new gold ink is really lovely. Sadly, the photo doesn't capture it fully. For many years I used real 22k gold leaf in my work. The symbolism of gilding (the process of applying gold leaf) is fascinating. When studying Russian Icon painting, my teacher told us gold represents humans in their perfected spiritual state, reflecting divine light back into the world. The goal is to make the gold applied reflect light to perfectly like a mirror. Not an easy task! When applying gold to an icon, first a bed of clay infused with glue is put down and allowed to dry completely. The clay represents Adam, humans in their rough, unformed state. To reactivate the glue after it dries, you breath a warm hot breath with intention onto the clay. This represents God blowing the breath of life into Adam. Then the gold leaf is gently pressed onto the lightly remoistened surface. If you have centered yourself and surrendered completely to the present moment, the gold should adhere. Any place where the gold doesn't stick is said to be the ego fighting for control. It is a truly fascinating and often frustrating process! 😊 The gold in this piece is ink, not leaf, but the weight of this tradition and symbolism floats around in my head and informs any use of gold in my work. I'm really excited because it also gives me the chance to post another beloved poem by Dorothy Walters.

A Cloth of Fine Gold
by Dorothy Walters

You may think
that first lit flame
was the ultimate blaze,
the holy fire
entered at last.

What do you know of furnaces?
This is a sun that returns
again and again, refining, igniting,
pouring your spirit
through a cloth of delicate gold
until all dross is taken
and you are sweet as
clarified butter
in god's mouth. ----
Until tomorrow. xoxo

the prayer, Monotype of the Day #319

319.jpg

When to stop? At the end of a piece, this is always the question. Recently, I've tended to overthink and go too far. So, the past few nights I've forced myself to stop before I think I'm done. The next day I will go back and see if I really needed that last later. Usually I don't. The end of a piece has to be felt, not thought. It's harder to feel when you are tired and this discovery may actually get me to start working earlier in the day. That would be miraculous! Tomorrow I will revisit this print and see if I made the right choice.
Tonight's poem is a new discovery for me. After I made this print, I was flipping through a book of women's sacred poetry. The last 2 lines fit so perfectly, I couldn't pass up posting it. The garden imagery also touches me.

We were enclosed- from Prayer 20
by Catherine of Siena, trans. Suzanne Noffke, O.P.

We were enclosed,
O eternal Father,
within the garden of your breast.
You drew us out of your holy mind
like a flower
petaled with our soul's three powers,
and into each power
you put the whole plant,
so that they might bear fruit in your garden,
might come back to you
with the fruit you gave them.
And you would come back to the soul,
to fill her with your blessedness.
There the soul dwells --
like the fish in the sea
and the sea in the fish.

xoxo

Gathering of Birds, Monotype of the Day #318

I reworked yesterday's image and feel much happier. It was a good night to work. The studio was humming. Sometimes I get overheated under all the lights and need to step into the garden to cool off. Tonight I was overwhelmed by the smell of honeysuckle. I planted it 3 years ago and this is the first season it's had enough bloom for the scent to completely envelop me. It created a moment where everything dropped away and it was just me and the scent and then just the scent- my sense of self briefly, blissfully vanished. It's the same feeling I get when I'm making art. It's funny that to make something so personal, you, the ego, has to disappear otherwise there is no space for the creative flow. It reminds me of a poem by Angelus Silesius from 17th century Germany

by Angelus Silesius, trans. Stephen Mitchell

God, whose love and joy
are present everywhere,
can’t come to visit you
unless you aren’t there.

xoxo

the flock, Monotype of the Day #317

More learning curve tonight with the new ink, so fun even if I'm not happy with the results. I tried thin the ink and lost all the dark mysterious tones in the graphite. Learning new things is so essential to being an artist and being a human. It's revitalizing. I think I will work this image tomorrow because there is something here I haven't discovered yet. This is the heart of the adventure of making art. Tomorrow I will set out like an explorer on an uncharted trip deep into the jungle.

the artist and the egg, Monotype of the Day #316

This image is a riff of two illuminations in Hildegard of Bingen’s work, one from Liber Divinorum Operum (Book of Divine Works) and one from the Scivias. These are images that have haunted me ever since I saw them when I was 18. I’ll see if I can post them tomorrow. Tonight, I need my sleep!

What birds plunge through is not the intimate space
by Rainer Maria Rilke, trans. Stephen Mitchell

What birds plunge through is not the intimate space
in which you see all forms intensified.
(Out in the Open, you would be denied
your self, would disappear into that vastness.) Space reaches
from us and construes the world:
to know a tree, in its true element,
throw inner space around it, from that pure
abundance in you. Surround it with restraint.
It has no limits. Not till it is held
in your renouncing is it truly there.

xoxo

emergent, Monotype of the Day #315

So I made a lot of truly horrendous prints tonight before I got to this one. The learning curve is steep with my new graphite ink. You might think this is funny, but making terrible prints is wonderful. It keeps you on your toes, challenges you, puts a spring in your step. Unfortunately, you really can't see the full beauty of this ink in a picture. When it's fully dry it sparkles and shimmers with a life of it's own. Which brings me back to something I've touched on before, will I let social media change the way I work so it’s more presentable online? No, I won't so you'll just have to come to my next open studio to see these pieces in person.

Variation On A Theme By Rilke
by Denise Levertov (The Book of Hours, Book I, Poem 1, Stanza 1)

A certain day became a presence to me;
there it was, confronting me -- a sky, air, light:
a being. And before it started to descend
from the height of noon, it leaned over
and struck my shoulder as if with
the flat of a sword, granting me
honor and a task. The day's blow
rang out, metallic -- or it was I, a bell awakened,
and what I heard was my whole self
saying and singing what it knew: I can.

xoxo

Listening, Monotype of the Day #314

I was running low on paper and had to go to the art supply store. My fellow artists will confirm that it is almost impossible to leave an art supply store with only what you came for! So, I picked up a jar of graphite-colored ink. It’s very different to work with. Experimenting is important. Ruts must be avoided at all costs, this as true in art as in life. No poem tonight. It’s been a long trying week and my brain refuses to cooperate. Luckily my hands are still on board. What do you think of the graphite ink? xoxo

the artist receives healing, Monotype of the Day #313

At Home

Such a pleasure to have my green ink back! Am happy to be home. Sometimes it’s important to work, sometimes it is everything just to be with those you love I will revel in that feeling and leave you with this print and poem:

#1 From Gitanjali by Rabindranath Tagore

Thou hast made me endless, such is thy pleasure. This frail vessel thou emptiest again and again, and fillest it ever with fresh life. This little flute of a reed thou hast carried over hills and dales, and hast breathed through it melodies eternally new. At the immortal touch of thy hands my little heart loses its limits in joy and gives birth to utterance ineffable. Thy infinite gifts come to me only on these very small hands of mine. Ages pass, and still thou pourest, and still there is room to fill.
—
If you haven’t read Gitanjali, I highly recommend you do! It’s great to have my books back! xoxo